Muse, You are indeed Inconvenient

I believe I’ve said it before, but it bears saying again – the muse is a fickle beast, in particular mine.

Everyone has a different tact for dealing with the problem of “writer’s block,” or as I see it at the moment, absent muses. Some would say that you should just muscle through it and make it work, write whether you feel like it or not; others would offer various techniques to awaken the creative beast, or advise watchful waiting, hoping it comes back into view. I’m not necessarily here offering advice, because I think I would be a poor choice for advice-giving in this case. I went for at least five years without writing any amount of fiction worth mentioning before busting out two novels and two short stories over the course of three years. It’s nothing compared to the likes of Stephen King or indie authors like Lindsay Buroker, but it is something that I was able to do those things in the midst of med school and everything that adventure entailed. Now…

What is most frustrating lately is that I have more free time than usual (I’m not sure that’s saying much), and yet I cannot find it in me to do what I want to do with my stories. There are words in a document (around 500, I believe) intended to be the beginning of Forsaken Lands III: Redemption, and several thousand more words spread between short stories for Les, Aia, Dmiri, Adria, and Teveres. Plenty of beginnings to work with… and no creative energy to put into them (nevermind the serial Fae and Folly, which has been sitting untouched for over a year).

Clearly this is not me offering solutions. This is me breaking silence and trying to get words in a computer – trying to rationalize what I see as a necessary break, at least for now. Writing is something I genuinely love to do when the energy is there. It’s adventure, thrill, relationships with people just in my head almost as deep as any “real” relationship I’ve ever had. Just now, though, that energy has disappeared into long-term career decisions, ending old relationships, starting new relationships, financial finagling, and trying to figure out what exactly I want my every-day to look like.

Everyone faces transition periods in life, and I would venture to say that while last year was in an epic state of flux, so far 2016 has cranked up the stakes. Things are better in the sense that good stuff has been coming my way, but more complex in that I have no freaking idea what to do with all of it. Just now, this moment, figuring out what I’m doing is all I can be held responsible for. The stories aren’t over and the ending, I promise, will present itself in time.

Then again, what is an ending but the mark of a new beginning, anyhow?


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